If I have learned anything over the last few days it is that, no matter what words I choose, no matter how carefully I construct or word a sentence. There is unfortunately still the ability for those words to become lost or untangled, inevitably fed back to me contaminated.
I know I can be hard to decipher, and sometimes my messages and good intentions get lost along the way.
I find music a universal language, music speaks to my soul, I digest and analyse lyrics and find that I identify similar sentiments about myself and my own relationships. The main difference being that where often in songs they are relating to romantic relationships, I am relating it to all spectrums of relationship. I also heavily rely on metaphor so that is an important thing to consider when perusing my playlist.
If I cannot accurately describe myself with words, then I can share lyrics that speak to me. I feel it is possibly the best way to describe myself without losing people along the way.
Current Playlist:
*Wait for you* – Myles Smith – ’til the light in your eyes reappears, I’ll be here by your side’
*House* – London Grammar – ‘This is my place, my house, my rules. Do you see me, feel me? Don’t think you do. ‘Cause this is my place, my house, my rules. I paint a picture so that we are climbing all the way up to the stars, and that’s where we are’
*The Sound of Silence* – Disturbed (CYRIL remix) – ‘but my words like silent raindrops fell’
*Love and hate* – Michael Kiwanuka – ‘Standing now, calling all the people here to see the show. Calling for my demons now to let me go. I need something, give me something wonderful. I believe. She won’t take me somewhere I’m not supposed to be. You can’t steal the things that God has given me. No more pain and no more shame or misery. You can’t take me down. You won’t break me down.’
Thank you – Dido – ‘And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn’t have a clue, because you’re near me’
Dancing in the Dark – Anna Pancaldi – ‘sit around getting older. There’s a joke here somewhere and it’s on me. I’ll shake this world off my shoulders. Come on baby, the laughs on me’ & ‘messages keep getting clearer. Radio’s on and I’m moving ’round my place. Check my look in the mirror. Wanna change my clothes my hair my face’ & ‘you can’t start a fire sitting around crying over a broken heart’
The Haunting Of Me – Jamie Lawson – ‘I can be cold, a little matter of fact. But she knows I’m here, inside this fear, constantly calling me back. Like a ghost she’s there to remind me. Like a song I know she’ll always find me. Forever she’ll rise, that look in her eyes, cos she knows’
I Don’t Wanna Wait – David Guetta &One Republic – ‘wanna spend tonight like, the last night of our lives, chasin all the love we can’
Jolene – Pentatonix and Dolly Parton – ‘your beauty is beyond compare, with flaming locks of auburn hair. Ivory skin and eyes of emerald green. Your smile is like a breath of spring, your voice is soft like summer rain. I cannot compete with you Jolene’ xxx
Mad World – Pentatonix – ‘I find it hard to tell you (I find it hard to take). When people run in circles it’s a very, very, mad world’
Powerful Women – Pitbull and Dolly Parton – ‘They just use your mind, and they never give you credit. It’s enough to drive you crazy if you let it’
Stargazing – Myles Smith – ‘Take my heart don’t break it, love me to my bones. All this time I’ve wasted, you were right there all along’
Stick Season – Noah Kahan – ‘so I thought if I, piled something good on all my bad. That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from Dad’
Austin – Dasha – ‘where there’s a will, then there’s a way and I’m damned sure you lost it. Didn’t even say goodbye, just wish I knew what caused it’
Too Sweet – Hozier – ‘Don’t you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake. Smellin like a bonfire, lost in a haze? If you’re drunk on life babe, I think it’s great. But while in this world, I think I’ll take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at 3’
The Door – Teddy Swims – ‘I don’t want to lose you baby, but I can’t play this game no more. I thought it would kill me, but tonight I saved my life when I showed you the door’
Teardrop (feat. Elizabeth Fraser) – Massive Attack – ‘Love, love is a verb. Love is a doing word. Fearless on my breath’
Jar Of Hearts – Christina Perri – ‘I learned to live half a life, and now you want me one more time. And who do you think you are? Running around leaving scars. Collecting your jar of hearts, and tearing love apart. You’re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. Don’t come back for me. Don’t come back at all’
Bella Ciao – Manu Pilas **
This is me – Keala Settle – ‘I am brave, I am bruised. I am who I’m meant to be, this is me’
Timber – Pitbull – ‘Let’s make a night, you won’t remember. I’ll be the one, you won’t forget’
Shallow – Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper – ‘I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in. I’ll never meet the ground. Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us. We’re far from the shallow now’
Fast car – Tracy Chapman – ‘so remember, when we were drivin’, drivin’ in your car. Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us, and your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder. I-I had a feeling that I belonged. I-I had a feeling I could be someone’
** This song is a favourite of mine and my partners after watching Money Heist together, but it has since for me, become much more than that.
Origins of the song first suggested that it was sung by female Italian field workers, who sung it about their oppressive working conditions. It also spoke about liberation.
In the 1940’s its lyrics were changed and it was adopted by many partisans as a resistance anthem against the Nazi insurgence, and celebrates the concluding liberation. It is a particularly contentious song to play in Italy due to its political connotations.
Interestingly, the song originated from a Ukrainian musician living in America. He had strong Jewish influence in his upbringing, and you can hear the Yiddish similarities.
Me, Myself and Who am I? 