How did I end up here?

I suspect, many who are reading this are drawn here after my recent outpouring of emotion on a separate platform, which has swiftly been removed.

I would like to make it clear that I have reached out to every individual affected and we are separately working our way through different processes.

Ultimately my aim in freeing myself of some negative labels and narratives that had defined me and had followed me around for most of my life, was somehow lost amongst the debris.

I perhaps regrettably, chose a path of non – conformity in order to be heard. Conformity involves so many constraints and restrictions, particularly for those of us that are Neurodivergent, and I never knew of an instance where conformity has led to progression or change, which ultimately was what I was asking for. My words were not intended as punishment.

However, in hindsight I have seen all the things that I overlooked in my intentions. I do regret not thinking more carefully about what would happen on the periphery for those closer to me. I have learned from that, and hence my intention going forward is to keep all my musings to a limited platform, keeping it strictly positive and hopefully insightful.

I am an an incredibly introspective person, and I am well aware of how the judgements will affect my overall perception, but I remain grateful that those who know me for me, and have always shown me their support. I have no harsher critic than myself, but I hope to be able to turn that around from a place of negativity, to a catalyst for positive change.

I have listened to those who wanted to air their grievances, and hopefully respectfully responded to their questions. My intention now is to focus on the boundary I have drawn, and not let that boundary be crossed in the future. In doing so, that is the only way to leave behind all that I need to leave behind.

This blog aims to explore the challenges of mental health and neurodiversity. It intends to be a safe space to explore obstacles, life skills, and talking to those around us about the importance of mental health and what that looks like.

I have hidden my mental health from a lot of people in the past few years because I felt shame to admit it. After years of my worth being reduced to the confines of my mental health, I chose to keep it quiet and only disclose it to those who I felt would understand. But I now feel so much freer. If I have lost any respect for my actions, or for admitting my vulnerabilities, then I have not lost anything of any value.

My emergence into this new space may have been a little messy, and fraught with difficult emotions, but its a space I needed to create in order to finally flourish and survive in this world as an advocate.