Chronic Illness

What do I gain in ‘sharing’ my pain?

Not much at all

That’s why I refrain

I slip on that mask

On myself I do task

The pretence that I am the same

Hold back my tears

Ignore all my fears

That one day incapacitation will reign

My body

My rock

Forever in shock

But when in danger

It’s too hard to tell

What’s that new niggle?

Deafening my ears – paradiddle?

Wait, no, that’s here to stay

That stab in my guts

Would drive most people nuts

Whereas I’m throwing up 50 times a day

It lasts a few weeks

Takes me off of my feet

And my teeth are now showing decay

When that has all stopped

My joints they may pop

Or dislocate all of the way

Blackouts and now seizures

Investigations, procedures

Scans – cameras – tubes

Now let’s send in the preachers

More MRIs

Bring back tears to my eyes

Gaslighting doctors

And unhelpful advice

Try yoga or diet

I wish they’d be quiet

I can’t raise my arms overhead

For sure if I do

I’ll keel over you

And then be confined to my bed

That happens a lot

It’s something called POTS

I’ll need salt and something to drink

I carry it around

In my emergency kit

Dip in my finger for an instant hit

Fibromyalgia

Neuralgia

Otalgia & severe TMJ

Acronym Queen

Can you hear my screams?

Not ever – but it won’t go away

Morton’s neuromas

They’re like a lipoma

Excess fibrosis

It’s all here to stay

Migraines from hell

Vestibular ones as well

Labyrinthitis and vertigo speedway

How long is my list?

This is just a little gist

I take it you haven’t got all day?

Oh, my insides as well

They sure are not swell

Betraying me day after day

So I cannot tell

If I’m living in hell

But a smile shall remain on my face

I push on and on

Ignore that! – Come on!

No choice but to keep up the pace

Now I’ve fallen once more

Straight down to the floor

I took on too much again

It’s too hard to tell

See or hear warning bells

When you have only ever known pain

Since I was a child

Sciatica ran wild

Joint pain and headaches misfiled

Hypochondriac! – Histrionic!

Is this something chronic?

No, it’s just attention seeking Jade!

So I button my lips

As I strap up my hips

And braces on all of my joints

And I fight back the tears

For all those lost years

No one understood

Nor wanted to hear.